SportsCrack

ESPN Knee Jerk Questions

I like to get ideas for posts sometimes by ripping off the questions ESPN asks it's expert panelists. Scummy? Probably. Do I care? Nope.

Let's get started...

1.) Sorry '72 Dolphins, Patriots to go undefeated.

On paper, yes, I think this could happen. But as we learned from the past few years Colts teams, keeping your team healthy and rested for the playoffs is more important than going undefeated, but increasing the risk of fucking it up and not sweeping the board in the playoffs.

Before I saw the Cincinatti Bengals defense last week, I thought the Monday night game in Week 4 might be a problem. But now, I don't think so. I mean, I could fucking throw for 300 and 3 TD's on that D. The Cowboys in Week 6 has some potential to be a deal-breaker, as well as Week 9 against the Colts. How the Colts game isn't a Sunday or Monday night game befuddles me greatly. Hold on, let's go check the games that did get picked. Dallas @ Philly on Sunday night and Baltimore @ Pittsburgh on Monday night. Not bad games, but come on. Maybe the NFL figured the Pats would have the AFC East all but locked up by then, which could be the case. Whatever.

Week 12 it's a Sunday night game against Philly followed by a Week 13 Monday night matchup against the Ravens. Two potential losses right there, as well as Week 14 against Pittsburgh. Other than that though, it looks like smooth sailing for the Patriots. They're bound to lose at least one of those games, it's just how the NFL works. Teams have off weeks. I have a feeling though they'll lose their first game in an upset to the fucking Dolphins or something, though. So the answer to this question is: The Patriots will most likely not go undefeated, but there'd be no fucking way I'd bet that they wouldn't either. 15-1 sounds about right, though.

2. The Saints are back to being the 'Aints.

First off, people react way too fucking quickly to things that happen in the NFL. The Saints are only 0-2 folks, yes, they looked horrible, but they have yet to play at home where they were fucking magical last year. I'm not even old enough to remember the Saints being called the 'Aints, and if I am, I must have deliberately chose to ignore the term since it's so queer.

For all we know, the Bucs are a good team. I highly doubt it, but you never know. And the other Saints loss was to the Colts. Didn't they win the Super Bowl last year? Yes, it was a rape job, but it was Week 1. There is 17 weeks in the NFL season. So let's calm down, please. The Saints are not back to being the 'Aints. And if it ends up as such, please, let's not call them that.

3. Steelers vs. Cowboys for the 4th time in the Super Bowl.

I like the Cowboys a lot. I think they're a lock to win the NFC East, and since the NFC is pretty weak, the whole conference as well. The Steelers are 2-0 and look pretty good, but they play in the same conference as the Colts, Ravens and Patriots. AND IT'S ONLY WEEK 3! THERE'S SEVENTEEN WEEKS! WHY ARE WE EVEN SAYING THE WORDS 'SUPER' AND 'BOWL' YET?

So let's save this question for hmm.. I don't know--Week 14?

4. Damn straight, the Pack is back!

I guess this one all depends on how you define 'back'. If you define it as not sucking ass for the whole entire season and being albeit, even a small, contender--then yes, the Pack is back. Like every other fucking question, it's Week 3. They haven't even played a notable contender yet and yes, even though they're in a weak NFC North, let's save the judgement please. They play San Diego this week, so if they're D plays up to par and it's not a total blow out then yes, the Pack is back!

5. Bad apple: Jets, Giants to go winless in 2007?

I don't know who asked these questions, but they're fucking retarded. Two teams going winless? Are you serious? The more relevant question would be, are they both going to finish at or below .500? I think the Jet's will finish 7-9 and the Giants 5-11.

But both of them going winless? I'm never using ESPN's Knee-Jerk questions for content, ever, ever again.

6. Bank on it: Texans will make the playoffs.

Um, no.

They've looked good, yes. But they've beaten the Chiefs who by all accounts suck... a lot, and they've beaten the Panthers who by all accounts... I don't even know. They could be good, could be bad. It's basically a toss up for them.

They play in a division with the Colts and Titans and could technically snag the second wild card spot if the Bengals are as bad as they played last week. But I doubt it. Maybe if Andre Johnson was playing this week and they stole one from the Colts--but he's not, so they won't.

And since all but one of these knee-jerk questions sucked... I'm going to make up my own:

7. The Razor's Edge in Arizona? Edgerrin James back to top form?

Yes. But nothing was really wrong with him, just his blocking and team as a whole.

I ready somewhere that Edge was asking all his coaches, new and old this past off-season what he did wrong last year. What happened? How could he improve? Nothing, they all said. For the most part they were suprised he got as many yards as he did with such horrible fucking blocking. So, with an improved O-Line and an improving Matt Leinart at QB, Edgerrin James will be one of the top 3 backs in the NFL at years end.