SportsCrack

Whoa... that was a great game

This is supposed to be an unbiased football blog, and I apologize if I offend every single fan outside of New England by posting this.

But that game was fucking awesome. There is no doubt in my mind that the Patriots will finish the season 16-0. Notice I didn't say 19-0 because as I know from last year's second half shit fest against the Colts, anything can happen in the playoffs.

With that said, next weeks game against the Steelers is huge. In my opinion it is the last big game in the Patriots quest for an undefeated season. I will be posting a massive preview with a post per day, covering different aspects of the game starting on Wednesday. So all nine of my readers, stay tuned!

The Ravens played a great game and they redeemed themselves in my mind after that anemic performance against the Steelers a few weeks back. This is the NFL, folks. Just because a team is a couple of games below .500 doesn't mean there going to get the shit kicked out of them every week. The penalties at the end of the game though... that was unacceptable. Thankfully, I'm not a Ravens fan because I would be starting a petition to get Bart Scott thrown off the team. That's just me, though.

Sit back and enjoy boys and girls. History is being made right before our very eyes. And once again, I apologize if most of my readers hate the Patriots and wish for me to remain unbiased. However, my blood alcohol content is like... 21.3 right now so, I'm sorry.

10 things that will happen on Monday Night Football – Pats @ Ravens

Packers @ Cowboys TNF Preview!

This game will mark the eighth time ever that two 10-1 teams have met in the regular season. With that said, while most people think these two will meet again in the NFC championship, I do not. Whoever loses this game will go into a downward spiral and not carry enough momentum into the playoffs. I say this because I am a genius, and you should listen to me. So… yeah.

Anyway, in the interests of being fair and balanced, let’s break down this game into different categories. Unlike the last preview, we will break it down into offense vs. defense, vice versa and coaching. It is much easier that way, and I like easy. I will also try and sprinkle various witty and entertaining comments throughout this preview, but the keyword is ‘try’. I’m not making ANY promises. Let’s begin.

Cowboys offense vs. Packers defense

The key here obviously, is if Charles Woodson is going to play. He will be a game time decision along with defensive end Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila. Not only does Charles Woodson effect Green Bay’s defensive play, but he also effects the special teams.

The Cowboys offense has been great this year. In fact, it is ranked second in the league overall behind the mighty Patriots. However, many times they didn’t get the offense going until the second half. If the Packers defensive line can get pressure on Romo and maybe rough him up a bit, and succeed in stopping Marion ‘the Barbarian’ Barber (Best nickname in the history of nicknames, I think). Common sense? Yes. Did it need to be said? Also yes.

Edge: Even…

What was that?

Fine, I won’t be a pussy…

Edge: Cowboys

Packers offense vs. Cowboys defense

I’ve waited for the Packers offense to shit the bed for the first eight to nine weeks of the season. After that, I realized they might actually be pretty good. I was surprised to learn though, that they are third overall behind the Patriots and Cowboys in total offense. Weird.

Dallas has the seventh ranked defense in the league. So this is going to be the most competitive part of the game. (Cowboys O vs. Packers D will be competitive too, but the Cowboys O is ranked 2nd while the Packers D is ranked 12th - a great match up but not as good as the one we’re talking about in this section. On a side note, I place a TON of emphasis on offensive and defensive rankings this late in the season. I’m shallow like that).

I’m still skeptical about Ryan Grant (albeit, pissed I didn’t pick him up with one of my 2 FA bids in my fantasy league) so I think we’re going to learn a lot about him in this game.

In weird little retarded stat side note, Brett Favre is 0-8 in Texas stadium. Does this mean anything? Absolutely not. Will he be 0-9 after this game? I don’t know, wait until the end…

Edge: Cowboys

Mike McCarthy vs. Wade Phillips

While this is technically Mike McCarthy’s first successful season, I just don’t like Wade Phillips for some reason. Will this cause me to give the edge to McCarthy? What do you think I am, an asshole? However, I do think Mike McCarthy is a better game planner. Wade Phillips looks like he’d rather play Candy land with Tony Romo instead of planning for an actual game.

Edge: Packers

So there we have it. Thanks to my generous nature, we have now broken down the major parts of the game. We didn’t break it down to electron size like most people, but I hope we have all gotten a general gist of what’s going to be happening here. I’m not a fucking scientist, so if you want someone to break down left guard vs. defensive tackle/end than I apologize.

Now, who I do think will win? In my heart of hearts, I believe the Cowboys will win this one. And I always go with my heart of hearts feeling for my picks. If any of you have read my picks on Football Crack each week, you also know that my heart of heart feelings are NEVER fucking right. I think I’m batting just below .500 for the year and well, that is just not acceptable.

So, in a prediction that means absolutely nothing except to give closure to this spectacular preview…

Cowboys: 31 Packers: 27

Here’s to hoping you have NFL Network, too. Cause if you don’t than that just sucks. : /

Sean Taylor -- 1983 - 2007

I can honestly say with sincerity that he was the
most exciting defensive player I have ever
had the pleasure of watching. May he R.I.P.

The NFL jersey you wear and what it says about you

Last night, during that magical time in between waking and sleeping, I had an idea and I do not get ideas very often. So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, here is a look into the psyche of those who wear your favorite NFL player jerseys. What story are you telling about yourself when you wear an NFL jersey? Well, let's find out - enjoy, and do go easy on the apple cider. I spiked it.

(Note - Since I'm so nice, I placed some Amazon ads you can click on if you'd like to buy the jersey -- and unless it's an L.T. jersey, I don't see why you wouldn't want one.)

Priest Holmes jersey - I enjoy living in the past a bit and think of myself as able to come back from anything. Even debilitating neck and spinal injuries. I tend to get people's hopes up but then blast them down with a shotgun, though I always thank my supporters.



Tom Brady jersey - Whats up baby? How are you doin'? I tend to think of myself as somewhat of a manly man. Except, I take three hours to get ready and use hand lotion because I don't like dry hands, damnit!



LaDainian Tomlinson jersey - I cry a lot and I get mad when I don't get my own way. I can't share very well and I always brag about my own things while making fun of yours. I'm also gay and LOVE how this powder blue jersey matches by shell-toes, don't you? Oh, and I'm classy, too. Don't you think?



Chad Johnson jersey - I'm that guy at the bar who talks mad shit to people and gets in their face but I nearly shit my pants when that person doesn't back down. Also, I curl up into a little ball and cry when I get punched in the face.



Randy Moss jersey - I am the fucking man.



Ray Lewis jersey - I killed a guy once at a Wheaties convention but for some strange reason, I got away with it and no one even seems to remember, which is pretty cool.



Adrian Peterson jersey - I'm confident, but not too confident. I am the heir apparent to the top of my corporate ladder and I have a hand crushingly strong handshake. I'm a bit fragile, though.




Adam 'Pacman' Jones jersey - I just shot up your house. My fault. Hey, want to go to a strip club? [In case your wondering why there's no picture for Pacman... I couldn't find one. I guess no one wants to sell something with his name on it. Interesting...]


LaMont Jordan jersey - I was really cool for like, two weeks of my entire life. Then I tweaked by back and can't go out anymore because my wife won't let me.



Brett Favre jersey - I'm really old but I am a legend on the tackle football battlefield down at Sampson park. Until I break a leg or have a heart attack, I am not going to retire. Also, I LOVE Wrangler jeans.



Peyton Manning jersey - I like to give life advice to pretty much everyone. Even people I do not know and meet on the train.



Ben Roethlisberger jersey - I'm the guy who everyone likes, then began to like even MORE after I got into a car accident and got tons of prescriptions for perks and vikes. Five bucks a pop, buddy. Fork it over.



Tony Romo jersey - I used to be shy, but then I landed a commercial gig and I am on top of the world. I smile and giggle a lot.



Well, that's about it for now. May your turkeys be tasty and your beers be plenty.