SportsCrack

Back in time for Turkeyday

I know, it's been like 4 years since my last post. My bad. I just wrote an informational e-book that will hopefully make me some greenage. And no, I will not whore it out on this blog because it has absolutely nothing to do with football.

Or... maybe I will, I don't know. Anyway, back to football!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and for the first time since I can remember, the Lions are actually playing in a meaningful game. I was looking forward to putting some money on them, but then I lost all of my money that I had left (until this Friday) this past Sunday when New Orleans shit the bed and the Jets beat the Steelers. Seriously, how did that happen? I took the Steelers and they were GIVING ten points! And they lost! I thought this team was the heir apparent to end the Patriots undefeated season attempt? I guess not.

Oh well. Here are the picks:

Lions over Packers.
Cowboys over Jets.
Falcons over Colts. (Upset!)

On a quick side note, I would like to wish Priest Holmes a happy retirement. I would also like to thank him for effectively ruining my shot at making the playoffs in my fantasy league.

You see, we only get two waiver wire moves for the whole season. This is to prevent faggots having an ever-changing starting line up like a waiver wire whore house. Anyway, not surprisingly, I used my two pickups within like, the first six weeks of the season. By week 10, everyone had used there's up except the commish.

My running back situation was dire and the Jack Daniels in my blood stream was telling me to make a move or lose. So, I stopped over my commishes house, busted out a trade that looked a bit like this:

I gave up: Plaxico Burress and LaMont Jordan and I got: Chris Chambers, Jerrious Norwood and a FA pickup (Priest Holmes).

Yes, I know, in the light of the recent Holmes re-retirement this looks like perhaps the worst trade in fantasy football history. But I didn't know Priest was going to retire after two games! I thought L.J. was done for the season and I was making a sneaky, genius deal.

Guess not. Thanks though, Mr. Holmes. I'm going to get fucking HOUNDED all through the Super Bowl party. Well wishes, though. I admire your efforts and am thinking about buying your jersey just to parody the whole thing and make fun of myself. I'm cool like that.

Power rankings and random ramblings to come. Stay tuned.